Consensual reflection
by Cicatrix6
Summary: Look into the mirror. Do you like what you see? [Kakashi-centric ONE-SHOT; light KakaNaru kakashiXnaruto]


They say everybody hates themselves at some point in their lives. It's understandable, of course, especially when you're the cause of the deaths of two people who were so precious to you. Or when someone pushes your bed into the ward and you slowly open your eyes and stare into that familiar bright light you know don't deserve to see.

Sensei is kneeling beside your bed, holding your hand in his, and even in your state of threshold consciousness you hear him whisper—

_"Little Scarecrow, what have you done?"_

—and you will remember these words forever. You hate him for finding you, but you hate yourself even more. It's your own fault; you didn't lock the bathroom door. You have failed. You tried to die, but you have _failed._

You wake up. The room is white – too white – and your tainted soul cannot bear the presence of that brightness. Your mind is painting the white to gray, and you can almost hear the walls scream in protest. But you don't care. You tilt your head to the side to stare out the open window. Rain. You can feel a tear sliding down your cheek.

"Kakashi, you have a visitor," you hear a nurse say as she lets him in and closes the door. Your visitor, who calls himself your friend and rival, _tries _to cheer you up, unknowingly poisoning your bleak and portentous mood as he reminds you of all those successful missions that had left you bedridden in the hospital. You look away. All you want is an antidote to those anecdotes you don't want to hear. You remain silent, and after a while your visitor finally gets the message and shuts up. His hand touches your shoulder for a few moments. Then he leaves.

Hours have passed, the lights are off, but the moon is illuminating the room, its silver rays falling right on your restless form. You want to indulge in silence, but the obtrusive sound of the downpour won't let you. You can hear crows shrieking outside. Don't they know that the dead have a light sleep? One shouldn't awaken the dead! You close your eyes, wait and wait and wait until you give in to Morpheus's embrace.

You wake up, realizing you are laying on the bathroom floor, though you can't remember when you got here. You get up on shaky legs and you stare into the mirror. You can see the gray sky and the silver moon as you look into your eyes. You are the spitting image of your father, and you remember how you used to spit on your mirror image in the past. But now you know that your father was a hero, just as Obito was a hero. And you? And you?

"Failure…," you mutter, and the mirror swallows the words you still would have said. The mirror reflects it all. So instead, you stare scornfully at the gray-haired boy in front of you. He's revolting to you. He's revolting, and he's you.

You look away; you cannot stare any longer. You cannot stay here any longer, so you dash out of the house.

The sky is pale, so pale that its paleness shines white – too white – and your tainted soul cannot bear the presence of that brightness. Your mind is painting the white to gray, and you are running. You don't know your destination, but the fear drives you, and you will find the way. You keep running and running through the alleys of the village until you reach the cemetery. You can feel the sweat dancing off your brow as you stop and collapse on the ground. You look around. To the left and to the right are the memorial stones.

The sky turns red, bloody raindrops stain your clothes and hair, and echoing screams penetrate your disturbed mind; loud and eager and unstoppable, and you know you have reached the place where your agony sings forever…

You can hear the tortured souls, for you are one of them. You can even see them marching into life!

_"I'm sorry, son…"_

Your father stretches his hand towards you; but it is dirty. All that is there is dirty, and your muscles won't allow your hand to take his. The air reeks of mud, blood and tears, of filth, injuries and your innermost fears. You lick your dry lips and your tongue catches the taste of death.

_"Save a life, take another…"_

You run into more of them, you run, you run as if you are running in circles…

"_PROTECT RIN_!"

You hear the chirping of a thousand birds…

"_She is dead. You killed her. You broke your promise_!"

The black-haired child uncovers his left eye, but the socket is empty, and he looks at you disdainfully...

"_TRASH_!"

You see a bright light, but your mind is painting the white to gray…

"_DIE_!"

Sensei is calling out to you…

"_Little Scarecrow, what have you done_?"

You are freezing, hell is burning hot but you are freezing. You are a snowman in the desert, and you couldn't melt away even if you wanted to. You realize you are longing to see the blue sky and the golden sun, you have to see the sun, only the sun can melt away the snow!

The fear and the pain in your heart become unbearable. If this goes on, you will go mad. MAD! There remains nothing else for you to do, but to send the dead home again…

You scream, "**GET OUT OF MY HEAD**!"

And they leave you alone. They leave you so alone that you begin to gasp, to choke; your lungs are quaking like the ground beneath you. Your grave is open. Go. Now is the moment. Go, before they come back and before their whispers turn to screams again. Go, before the crows start to shriek and awaken the dead. Get the hell out of here, get out of this hell! GO HOME!

You wake up. You aren't in the white hospital, but in your bed, and the moon is illuminating the room, its silver rays falling right on your restless form. You want to indulge in silence, but the obtrusive sound still ringing in your ears won't let you. You tilt your head to the side to stare out the open window. Rain. You can feel a tear sliding down your cheek.

You close your eyes, wait and wait and wait until the eerie melody in your head is submerged by your panting, and you give in to Naruto's embrace.

"That dream again?" he mumbles, and you chuckle softly and pull him closer to you, until you can inhale the sweet scent of your sanctuary. You rub soothing circles on his back, as one would soothe a child after a nightmare, as if _he_ were the one in need of consolation, when actually you are trying to soothe yourself.

You stare into his eyes and you see the blue sky and the golden sun, and the snow in your heart is melting away…

* * *

When the morning light softly shimmers through the room, you carefully get out of bed without waking Naruto. You head to the bathroom and stare into the mirror, and you smile at the gray-haired man in front of you. I used to be revolting to you. I used to be revolting, but I am you.

You can see the gray sky and the silver moon as you look into my eyes, and you smile. You have found me now and accept our connection, for I am your consensual reflection.


End file.
